Thursday, April 28, 2011

Leaving Impairment

What is it about leaving my home for the night (or for longer, I'm not picky) that turns me into an absolute lunatic?

I get it that I like to have the house clean.  Coming home to chaos is no fun.  But what, pray tell, is it that moves my intentions from leaving a tidy house - which is reasonable, over to this craziness?

It's like I feel the need to get every little project I have ever had on my to-do list over and done with.  If this lunacy had a motto is would be: Leave no stone unturned, no closet unorganized, and no crumbs or six month old McDonald french fries under the car seats.

Am I the only one that finds it disturbing that McDonald's food never decays???

What makes me think I should adding blogging about my stupidity on the eve of my insanity to my list of things to do?

I think a reasonable before I leave list should look something like this:

  • Laundry done and put away
  • Bathrooms cleaned
  • Floor washed and or vacuumed
  • Rooms tidied
  • pack your bags, and those of your progeny.
This ensures that I come home to a house that is as welcoming as the hotel or guest-house I just left.  I like that. If I would stop there, I am sure my past week would have been very relaxing. 

Things I have ADDED this week (and mostly completed) to this list include:
  • cutting the kids hair 
  • buying and butchering a beef and pork tenderloin into various cuts for the freezer
  • cleaning and reorganizing the garage
  • assigning essays on the beginnings of Western Civilization to school ages kids
  • eating Reese peanut butter eggs like its my job
  • over-seeding and fertilizing the lawn
  • doing the winter-spring clothes switch for the kids
  • vacuum the van with the little crevice tool that is too small to suck up creepy, withered un-carbon-dateable french fries
Seriously, if this doesn't prove that I don't need alcohol to impair my judgement, I don't know what does.

The thing is, I know from a very recent and scientific (like 10 minutes ago) poll that I took on facebook, that I am not alone.  So why do we do this?

Is it because we can't handle leaving things imperfect?  Is it that we worry that if we were killed in a fiery crash, and people had to come in our houses they would be shocked at the filth and squalor we sometimes live in?  Or do we think that if we don't create enough chaos and work for ourselves and almost have a nervous breakdown in the leaving process that we don't deserve the time away?

My greater concern for myself is what these lists do to my family.  This particular episode has been fairly pain free.  I have gotten a lot of the important and urgent things done. And while doing it,  I have managed to avoid turning into Attila the Mom.  That hasn't always been the case though.  

I just wish I knew why this leaving impairment phenomenon affects so many of us!

What I know for sure  is that there is a garage with my name on it. 

My list is calling.  I better get to work.


  1. I'm glad you were successful with your list. However, since it was my birthday, I chose not to write such a ridicuous list. The only thing on mine was to pack, and make a broccoli chicken casserole for my mom to use while we were gone. You'd think I could accomplish that since I didn't even make dinner for ourselves tonight. Have you ever smelled broccoli that has been steamed until there's no steam left and the broccoli is stuck to the bottom of the blackened pot? Not a good smell.
    And so I will live vicariously through you that you accomplished your list!

  2. Don't forget to empty your kitchen garbage too!

    I have a "going to bed" impairment. I can't leave any email or blog unread, and I have to be caught up on what everyone is doing on Facebook before I finally turn in. No wonder I'm tired all the time. That said, I'm glad I stayed up to read this. Thanks for the bedtime story, Karina. Have a great time on your get-away. We're getting away (with kid) this weekend too.


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