Snail Bait

If there's one regret that I have in blogging so far - aside from the tired I don't do this enough excuse, it's that I've never really talked much about homeschooling.  I kind of steered clear of it because I was concerned I would offend people if I wrote about it because they (whoever they are) might think that because I love it and it works for our family that I deep down feel like everyone else doing every other kind of school doesn't really love their kids, God, or both.  That's just silly.

The thing is: I'm forgetful and sometimes funny things happen that I might want to remember.   So maybe I'll write a bit more about some of this part of our life. Or maybe I'll forget to write about it.  That's possible too.

There is no denying that being pregnant five times did some permanent damage to my memory.  At least, that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

What were we talking about?

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I realized I had reached a new level in homeschooling nirvana when it became quite clear that we hit that strange animals living in your home that you did science experiments on/with stage.

We, as in - someone who wasn't me, but another Mom who is an overachiever when it comes to science did a bang-up job on the biomes/ecosystems science unit  for our co-op in January.  This included a lovely notebook they created full of information, definitions, experiments and also fantastic hands-on activity where the kids created biomes for aquatic snails in 2L pop bottles.  They were lovely little habitats and they included live plants and sticks and algae and some super cute snails.  Two in each.  Six biomes all..

The kids achieved stasis in the biomes and then they altered the environments to observe and demonstrate how one small change in a habitat might affect the biotic and abiotic elements in it.  I'm pretty sure this is homeschool talk for we tried to see if the snails would die or not.  I didn't conduct the experiment - it was my turn to gallivant that co-op module, so I can't say for sure.  But I'm pretty sure that's what that fancy science talk means.  I'm just a musician, man.

At any rate, many of the snails survived.  My 13 year old decided it was her destiny to become a den mother to the snails.  Over the six weeks they observed/ played mad scientist with them she got attached.  She and her lab partner NAMED them.  And now, 3 months later Ferguson and Bubbles are still alive.  They WILL NOT DIE.

They got a better home - an enormous vase. This is mostly because decorating is something I'm really good at. (Snort!) It takes up an unreasonable amount of space by the sink - cause they need sunlight y'all, and where else can you put a 2 gallon vase where you aren't worried about water damage or 4 year old inflicted snail damage? It's a mystery to me why more people don't want to homeschool. Snail home tutorials coming to a pinterest page near you!

 Ferguson keeps playing dead, but it turns out he's just extremely lethargic. Bubbles keeps climbing to the top and threatening to leave the lovely home I have created for him/her/it. Good times.

Just when you think it couldn't get sillier, said overachieving friend who practically encouraged this irrational snail love in my daughter and quite literally forced me to take them home at the end of January came over last week and told me my kitchen stank...stinked...stunk.  It turns out this is the litmus test of your friendship.  If you are truly good, lifelong, soulmate friends, you will be told in no uncertain terms if you or your kitchen stinks.  And they will start sniffing your entire premises and perhaps even your person trying to find the source of the stink.  If you're friends, this makes you laugh hysterically.

Confession: I had been looking for the source of stink previously.  I even showered thrice that week, just in case it was me.

Update: I have started changing the snail water. My kitchen smells better.

Have a died and gone to not-heaven?

We have pet snails, people.  This is a problem.

Mostly because it poses that larger question that looms in the heart of every woman who homeschools.

If the snails won't die, and I can't bring myself to do them in -

Does this mean I have to buy a denim jumper?

What's crazy things has having kids made you do? Or is it just me?